To give you an idea of my laziness here are a few examples:

- When I come back from the grocery store I make one trip from the car to my apartment with the stuff i bought.  It does not matter how much I had bought – I make ONLY one trip.  I will literally load myself up like a pack mule and strain every muscle in my body to walk the 100 feet to my place instead of just making 2 trips and carrying a reasonable amount of stuff.  I have almost lost fingers due to the plastic bags cutting off the circulation to my hands.

- I love me some nappin’.  I have been told that my napping skills are catlike.  I can fall asleep anywhere, at any time under any circumstance.  It is at times good (sleeping for 16 hours of my 17 hour flight to Asia) and at times bad (passing out behind the wheel even with the radio cranking, windows open, chewing gum and getting road-head – OK, maybe I am lying about the road-head part).  Seriously though, when I am in the car as a passenger it is like someone firing a rhino tranquilizer dart into my neck.  Give me 5 minutes on the highway and my head will be bobbing around like “Weekend at Bernie’s”.  The ease of these naps adds to my laziness – if I’m bored I’ll just take a nap… why not?

- Part being the Lebron James of napping is that it is very difficult for me to actually wake up at all.  I like that I can sleep through some drunk asshole banging on my door at 3AM but that skill is not so good when I can’t hear my alarm going off at 7AM.  I currently use 3 alarm clocks to get up and I have still slept through all of them a few times.  My roommate in college got so fed up that he had a squirt gun by the side of the bed that he would douche me with if I didn’t wake up withing a few seconds of my alarm – trust me, waking up thinking that you are first few rows of the Shamu show at Sea World is not so fun.

- When I was a kid I learned to never answer the first time someone called my name.  Nine times out of ten when my Mom shouted from the first floor for me was when she needed me to do something.  I waited until at least two calls.  Most of the time she would either give up and do whatever she needed me for herself (I know, I am an asshole).  This has made its way into my current work life.  If there is an annoying task that someone needs me to do I will wait until they ask again.  Wait… maybe I am the reason why the US is falling behind… forget I said that.

- Right before I sat down to write this I realized that I forgot something in my car.  I was going to go right out and grab it (about 200 yards of total walking distance) then I didn’t really feel like it.  I started to think about how I could minimize the distance I would have to walk by combining my lunch and getting my bag from the car.  I spend a lot of my waking minutes thinking about how I can combine activities to minimize the amount of movement that I do.  If I would just do the thing I need to do it would be done and I could stop thinking about it… except that wouldn’t be lazy!

- I slept on a futon mattress on the floor of my condo for over 8 months.  I had plenty of money and time to go purchase a proper bed but the thought of going out to the store and buying something seemed like a lot of work.  It probably would have taken me an hour at most but for some reason I just didn’t feel like going shopping.  I am sure that the chicks I had been dating at the time who I brought back to my place  thought I was living in a crack den but even that didn’t make me get something.  I guess my laziness trumps not looking like a tool… pretty pathetic!

The sad thing is that my parents are some of the hardest working people that I know.  Apparently laziness skips a couple of generations.  I don’t know where I picked up my ways but I think they are here to stay.  Looking back on this list though it seems like it is a lot more hassle to be lazy.  The amount of energy and effort that I put into being lazy is probably a fraction of the effort that I would need to complete what I need to do and in reality I guess I am not that lazy.  I was not sooooo lazy that I couldn’t finish thi