• I went to a holiday party on Saturday at one my friend’s house and hung out for a few hours.  While we were having a few cocktails I noticed that there was a bottle of Triple Sec on the counter.  I didn’t think anything of it until someone mentioned that someone had brought that over.  WTF?  Who brings fucking Triple Sec to a party?  Is that not the oddest alcoholic beverage to bring to a party?  I thought I was going a bit off the reservation by bringing champagne but Triple Sec???  That would be like going to a pot-luck and bringing a few cloves of garlic.  I was completely taken aback by this – can you think of a weirder bottle to bring?  We were all laughing about this and then some guy came in with a bottle of Saki – granted this is not as retarded as Triple Sec, but again, who brings Saki to a party?  Needless to say I created another drink (2 weekends in a row that I have created a drink – I guess I am a bartender savant) called the Secsy Saki which was surprisingly tasty.

• Would it be so bad if everything slowed down a little and people had more time to think, relax or just enjoy life?  So much energy and effort has gone into making things happen as quickly as possible.  It gets to the point where I don’t even have enough time to enjoy something before I feel the need to move on to the next.  I always wonder how things got done before email and cell phones but then I realized that everything just happened a bit slower.  We have made everything more efficient and instead of enjoying the fruits of technology and systematic improvement we choose to plow ahead.  If I said everything would run a bit slower or less efficiently across the board but you would be required to work 1 less day a week which would you choose?

• Those traffic cameras are popping up all over and I am scared for the future of driving.  These tickets are total bullshit – they are quickly becoming another kind of tax.  Unless there is a person physically present while you perpetrating the wrong doing you shouldn’t be issued a traffic ticket.  Most people average about 1 traffic violation every 5 minutes of driving.  There are so many nit picky things that people do all the time and if there were a traffic camera to record every infraction then all of our licenses would be revoked after a few weeks.  In addition to that, these cameras can potentially cause accidents.  A few days ago I almost rear ended someone when they slammed on the breaks at a yellow light because they knew it was camera enforced.   Don’t we get a vote as to how our tax money is being spent?

• I never knew until a few months ago that when someone has an “esquire” on their title that it signified that they completed law school but never passed the Bar.  It has quickly become my go to word for a thing that someone either fails to complete or does in a half assed fashion (Example: I thought Tom was going to hook up with that chick he met at the bar but he ended up esquiring it when he puked all over her friend.)

• I recently read this article about Sarah Palin and her views on our relationship with the planet.  These statements are ridiculous on 2 fronts: 1 -That a public figure who thinks that they are a viable candidate for the president of the United States can say that and still be taken seriously and 2 – There are people out there who are nodding their head to those statements.  I don’t understand how people can’t see the damage that is being done to the planet through our actions.  I would rather have Ronnie from Jersey Shore run the country – they have about the same intelligence but at least there would be some house music and fist pumping in the oval office to entertain me.

• Speaking of Jersey Shore… the midget punch heard round the world… was never actually heard!   I guess that answers the question: If a guidette gets punched in a bar and no one airs it, then did it really happen?  The answer is yes although MTV faded to black when snookie was punched in the face by some random dude.  They justified the deletion citing that it promoted violence towards women.  That is flawed logic – if that was the case we should take UFC off the air because it promotes fighting in men or stop showing hot dog eating contests because they promote being a fatass.  I remember when the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling (GLOW) was on the air when I was a kid and I didn’t suplex any fat chicks.  If you would like to see her get cold-cocked it you can type in “Snookie Punch” and get a few million results – just don’t view it and punch the next midget you see.

Note – I won’t be posting until next Wednesday – have a great holiday!