Ultraparadoxical

Even though I am a self proclaimed sloth I have had at least a part time job since I was 15.  Anything that I am doing for money will eventually become (at least sometimes) something that I inherently dislike.  Even if I was the oil-boy for the Tropicana Girls Bikini Team the alarm would go off some mornings and I would dread even having to rub down some scantily clad honeys.  Jobs to me are just that – JOBS – they are a means to an end.  Whatever I can do to make the most amount of money and suffer the least aggravation then that is what I want to do.  It opens up more freedom in my personal time where I can enjoy life.  In this 2 part series I am going to dig into the past and relive my career job by job and try to pull out some lessons that I still hold on to today.  Part one covers everything up until my college graduation… read more »

I work in a salt mine…  Actually, I used to work in a salt mine.  Wait… that’s not true either.

The term salt mine was coined by my brother about 6 years ago when I was working at a shitty call center grinding through my 7-4 shift Tuesday through Saturday slinging Direct TV equipment.  He was visiting me for a couple of days and I let him borrow my car while I was working.  True to form he was about a half hour late picking me up from that God-forsaken hell hole.  Waiting for him on the uncomfortable plastic break room chairs while watching the other call center losers heat up their microwave burritos put me in an especially foul mood.  After reading pretty much everything on the bulletin board (within that half hour I became an expert in the occupational hazard law in California) I finally spotted my jackass brother pull up outside fresh from a surf.  The day had apparently beat me down because as I shambled out to the car (shirt half untucked, head hanging low) he said “Salt mine beating you down?”  I hopped into the car and looked at myself in the mirror.  Although I have never seen a salt miner I swear that I looked like I just clocked out of a 12 hour shift in the salt pit.  That’s how much a bad job can bring you down.  I have long since left that job for greener pastures to a less aggravating job but thinking back on it now it was certianly a true salt mine, but there is a little salt mine in every job.  Even if you love your job there are some days that you don’t want to be there or your co-workers suck.  Every salt mine has a crew of people that you would not normally spend 8 hours a day of your own volition and this Top Nine Friday is dedicated to the douchie-est of these familiar salt mine inhabitants. read more »