Relationships 5 comments

Meth-heads are total C-blockers…

By on May 14th, 2010

The scene of the worst date ever recorded...

I have been on many dates in my life.  Some good, some bad and some in between.  There is one night that is the current and probably will forever be the reigning champ for worst first date I have ever been on.  It all started innocently enough after I met this chick at the bar and we talked a few times on the phone and decided to go out to World Famous in Mission Beach for Taco Tuesday.  We did the usual chitchat about family and music and food and what we like to do in our free time and BLAH BLAH BLAH.  No sparks really flew but I can safely say we were enjoying ourselves and the date was going smoothly. Continue reading Meth-heads are total C-blockers… →

TK No comments yet

Introducing TK and Yardsale MADNESSSS

By on May 6th, 2010

[Editor's note: I have tried to get a few friends to come up with something for the site... most have failed (I'm looking in your direction KS and BB).  One has not however - presenting for the first time... TK!  You may remember her as the confused traveler in "A Concert Story II".  She used to live in San Diego but she recently moved to San Francisco and is slowly but surely becoming a dirty hippie (kidding... but not really)  This post and any future posts from her will appear in green.  My snarky comments appear in black.  Without further ado...]

After a Saturday cleaning effort of prolific proportion left the Beach House with an overload of random, albeit interesting items that we could no longer keep, we decided to have an impromptu yard sale/ BBQ the following day. Saturday night we made some yard sale signs and posted an ad on Craigslist that was sure to draw at least a few brave souls*

*Loud Rock Music Garage Sale! – $111 (Richmond / Seacliff) Continue reading Introducing TK and Yardsale MADNESSSS →

Music 1 comment

A Concert Story II

By on April 30th, 2010

Concerts are fantastic.  As I have outlined in previous posts they are the perfect storm for many of the things that I love – music, people watching and substance abuse.  Two weekends ago I flew to San Francisco to hang out with one of my friends that moved there recently (lets call her “TK” for anonymity’s sake).  I flew in on Thursday in the early afternoon and we dropped my stuff off at her house and we took a bus down to the BART station that would take us within walking distance of the Fox Theater in Oakland.  First of all I usually never like to ride on the bus.  Bus travel sucks.  Give me a train over a bus any day.  For every 1 lunatic hobo on the train there are 10 on the bus.  On this bus trip I was completely baked and there was a homeless gentleman that was screaming at an Asian lady (or maybe the invisible person next to the Asian lady that I couldn’t see).  For about 3 stops he was a raving lunatic barking at her about racism, drugs and a literary critique of “Little Women”  (OK – I made one of those up)  but she was absolutely stoic.  She looked like one of those guys on The World Series of Poker when they have a full house and are trying to bluff a guy to go all in.  Add that to the list of things that Asians are good at. Continue reading A Concert Story II →

Musings, Sex 6 comments

Sights and sounds of the town that is down

By on April 26th, 2010

I have been living in downtown San Diego for about 2 months now and it has been everything I thought it would be and more.  I have seen more interesting things is the short time I have lived in my new place than the 4 years I had lived at my old pad in a more suburban setting.  Besides some of the characters I have already chronicled in past posts I have noticed a few things about my fellow downtown San Diegans including:

“Statutory Grape”

Continue reading Sights and sounds of the town that is down →

Food 3 comments

The fast food apocalypse is upon us…

By on April 9th, 2010

Today, I stumbled upon one of the filthiest food incarnations that people will inevitably stuff down their gaping maw.  This “sandwich” marks a potential turning point for American society.  If it is popular and other restaurants start to emulate it I think we will know that Americans are committed to being a bunch of fat fucks.  At its core KFC is offering a pure meat sandwich the likes of which I have never seen.  It is a menage trois of processed animal carcass.  Basically the chicken is double-teaming the pig and KFC is suggesting that I eat this gang-bang.  I don’t think I could stomach it but I know this will be popular.  Appeal to the lowest common denominator of the American public and anyone can be successful – depressing but true. Continue reading The fast food apocalypse is upon us… →

Work 1 comment

Working Late

By on March 31st, 2010

I am sitting here on the last day of the quarter waiting for an order to book so I can have a respectable commission paycheck next month – ahhhhhh, the joys of sales.  It got me thinking a bit about my job and the rest of the jobs that fill out the corporate roster.  From the receptionist to the CEO there are stereotypes for every niche within an organization.  What have I learned about stereotypes?… that’s right, they are always true and need to be perpetuated (I am joking but there is a kernel of truth about stereotypes being mostly true).  Anyways here are my feelings about each department in this wonderful institution know as a “Corporation”.  We can start out with my current area of “expertise”:

Sales

Sales people are usually known as the loudest, doucheist, most overpaid people in the whole company.  However, they are usually the funnest to hang out with and throw the best parties.  Part of the douchebaggery of the sales team is due to idiots getting paid way more then they should.  Just because a person has a knack for dealing with people they have the opportunity to get paid more than an astronaut or the President of the United States.  If I were some asshole with a Masters in Finance making 85K while a 25 year old guy in with a associates degree from Lake County Community College was making 185K I would be pissed too. Continue reading Working Late →

Musings, travel 1 comment

Waiting… then more waiting…

By on March 17th, 2010

I have written in the past about slowing things down and not worrying about making things faster so we would be able to enjoy the things around us more.  I still believe that but I know one thing for sure – waiting sucks.  There are many different times in life where you are required to wait for something with a group of other people.  Each of these different waiting experiences is brutal in its own special way some however are shittier than others.  If Dante were to descend down the 7 levels of waiting areas this is the order that he would go in: Continue reading Waiting… then more waiting… →

Philosophy No comments yet

Listen to my Uncle – People don’t change

By on March 5th, 2010

My Uncle’s favorite quote is “People don’t change”.  When I was a kid at family parties I remember him saying this as a response to hearing about what someone in our family experienced or just talking about current events.  I would hear one of my cousins saying how her boyfriend was treating her like shit and she couldn’t believe that he was acting that way.  Everyone in the room knew the guy was an asshole but she seemed not to be able to see it.  She thought that things would be different over time.  She could have saved herself a lot of time and heartache by listening to my uncle.

It got to the point where my brother’s and sisters would poke fun at him for saying his line and try to beat him to the punch before he could say it.  Back then I really didn’t get it.  As I got a bit older I thought that he was totally wrong.  People DO change… I mean, as a child I thought I was changing all the time.  The way I acted changed dramatically as I grew up and I felt like almost as if I was a different person.  Since then I have realized something.  He was right. Continue reading Listen to my Uncle – People don’t change →

Sports, Uncategorized No comments yet

My Winter Olympics Boner

By on February 26th, 2010

The opening day of the Olympics was the first day that I was officially moved into my new place.  Since I have been at home cleaning, rearranging and getting my shit together I have watched a ton of the Olympics. While putting my bookcase together I cheered for cross country skiers and as I was swearing at a half assembled desk in front of me curling was on in the background.  I have never been a huge fan of the winter Olympics – instead of running, jumping and swimming of the summer games the winter has bobsled, ski aerials and the luge.  Most of the events are more of a drunken dare than a sporting event.  Regardless I have a few observations about the past 2 weeks: Continue reading My Winter Olympics Boner →

Work No comments yet

Be a Team Player! Then throw yourself off the balcony…

By on February 22nd, 2010

I just endured a meeting at work today that was 40 solid minutes of nonsense.  My manager went on and on about sweet-baby-jesus-knows-what and everyone listening had a mix of confusion and annoyance on their face.  He opened it up to the audience and looked over to me for input.  “What do you think” he inquired.  I paused a second to wipe the glazed look off my face and said “Well, I feel that in this type of situation it is best to use a framework of structured flexibility and went on to use an analogy of building a house to reinforce my position.  He ate it up.  I had no idea what the fuck I was talking about.  For the minutes running up to when he called on me I had been spaced out thinking about winning the lottery, flinging myself off of the office balcony or some-such thing.  This made me realize something – any crackpot idea can be swallowed by someone as long as the idea is accompanied with a easy to understand analogy.  Tough to understand the mortgage crisis?  Compare it to car maintenance, or a baseball game.  Need to explain quantum physics to an idiot?  Say it is like a rubber band. Even if it doesn’t make any sense, people think they understand and will go on to believe whatever you just said.  Go try it in a meeting, I guarantee it will work. Continue reading Be a Team Player! Then throw yourself off the balcony… →