Ultraparadoxical

I recently posed this questions to one of my coworkers: If you were married would you rather have your husband go to a sales conference or a guys weekend in Vegas?  Her answer: unequivocally – guys weekend in Vegas.  People are absolutely shameless at our company events.  I just had my annual work conference (which is the reason that I have not posted in a while) and it did not fail to deliver.  All kinds of shit (literally) went down – even accounting for the fact that 50% of the rumors are probably lies still leaves that other 50% which is true.  Let me tell you… corporate America is not as up tight as you would think. read more »

Throughout my dating existence I have been in many different types of relationships and each one has its own quirks and eccentricities.  Everyone is different and when those people pair up it creates unique circumstances and scenarios for the people involved making every relationship its own special entity.  Amongst these differences though there are similarities that an outsider can see working in all of these different pairings.  I have observed these similarities in my own and my friend’s relationships and most of the time I see someone’s actions and a song starts playing in my head – these are the relationships and their appropriate lyrics.  So here we go…

Top Nine “Musical” Relationships

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I have already blogged about how Tiger could have avoided all of his troubles by adhering to a few simple rules.  It is too late for Tiger though, he has already shit his bed and now he has to wallow in it… or does he?  It looks pretty bad for him – his wife isn’t wearing her wedding ring, his sponsors are dropping him faster than Sammi Sweetheart dropped “The Situation” and each day it looks like  a new skank is coming forward to say that Tiger took her out for a round on her “back nine”.  It is an absolute media feeding frenzy that is probably slowly destroying his sanity – he is scrambling to save his sponsors, his career and his marriage.  My advice, Mr. Woods, is to let it all go – let it burn to the ground – and rise again out of the ashes of your former life as a new man to be know simply as… “T-Dub”. read more »

In my estimation all women are crazy and all men are bastards.

Don’t ask me how it works - I think It has something to do with Testosterone, Etstrogen or maybe Chlorophyll.  No matter how hard a guy tries there is always a percentage of him that at his core is an asshole and craziness just comes naturally to women (I know these are broad generalizations and I am certainly no relationship guru but hear me out - and if you can’t then go back to work… ok, still with me?  Good).   There is no way around it, thats just how it is.  To make my argument a little clearer it would probably be helpful for me to explain exactly what I mean by “crazy” and “bastard”.  read more »

I have always had a secret obsession with the passing of time.  The general workings of life fascinate me more than almost anything.  Part of this obsession has to do with the various ways that I catalog the happenings in life.  My memory sucks.  It does, it always has, and some drug/alcohol dabbling here and there probably have not helped the memory retention area of my brain.  Bong rips and getting brown-out drunk out do not seem to lend themselves to having a razor sharp recall.  I can’t remember birthdays, names of relatives, appointments or anything other than the stuff I have saved in my blackberry.  To combat this poor memory I have relied mostly on writing. read more »