I have already blogged about how Tiger could have avoided all of his troubles by adhering to a few simple rules. It is too late for Tiger though, he has already shit his bed and now he has to wallow in it… or does he? It looks pretty bad for him – his wife isn’t [...]
As I have mentioned before, I have the attention span of a hummingbird. It is not my fault though – I blame the internet. I used to be able to sit down for 45 minutes and enjoy reading a book. Now I can barely sit still for 5 minutes in the bathroom and scan a [...]
Tiger, Tiger, Tiger – you sorry son of a bitch. Actually, I don’t feel bad for him at all, he shat his bed and now he needs to lie in it (if you are not familiar with the story read it here and while you are at it leave the cave you are living in [...]
I wish I was passionate about something in life. I could do with just about anything and not be too upset. I am always jealous of people who can throw themselves into their work or have something that they can earnestly focus their energies on and have immense satisfaction upon reaching their goals. I don’t [...]
My laziness is infinite. It is like the universe or a fat chick’s FUPA… always expanding and threatening to envelop everything. Some people manipulate situations so they get their way or gain power in a relationship… not me. I manipulate things so I can sit on the couch longer, avoid work or get someone else [...]
I have a suggestion for society. It is groundbreaking and would change the nature of communication as we know it… We need to completely do away with small talk. These conversations are so painful for me yet I find myself involved in them all the time at work or just with random people. Do we [...]
Birthdays are interesting rituals. It is supposed to be a special day but in reality it doesn’t make much sense why we put such an emphasis on that day. I have always thought that is was funny that we celebrate our emergence from our mother’s vagina. I guess it is something that everyone has in [...]
Sooo… I have been conducting a little experiment with myself for the past few weeks. I took my Dad up on a $100 bet and agreed to lay off the sauce for 30 days. I have about a week left and my sobriety has ranged from a non-issue to a night-ruiner and everywhere in between. I have not written a lab [...]
I am so happy to be living in the era that I exist in right now but there are things about the mechanisms and customs of life that seem to be built solely to piss me off. I have been accused of being a procrastinator or lazy because I don’t want to get my dry cleaning, buy stuff for [...]
If I am looking to buy a book, rent a movie, or watch a TV show there is one subject that I will choose over anything else – the apocalypse. From your standard 99.99% deadly virus to a global infestation of zombies to a nuclear holocaust I love me some world destruction. Basically they are all the [...]