“Dude, the Olive Garden has the BEST fettuccine alfredo. Its amazing.” Olive Garden I heard this on the street while walking back to my apartment last night. I almost stopped in my tracks to see who could have uttered such a thing. I cannot tell you the depths of my hatred for Olive Garden, I [...]
So I was watching a program about hell and all of the horrible myths and legends that go along with the underworld (I don’t know why I watch these things but I guess my morbid curiosity wins out sometimes). The BS that writers and mystics of the past thought up to scare people into submission [...]
[Another day, another new contributor to Ultraparadoxical! In the short time I have known her we have had some very interesting conversations, this post is a follow-up to one of them. As usual my comments in black and her post is in red. Welcome KS and all her orally suspicious glory!] A recent discussion with [...]
I am a statistic… and I’m not referring to myself as one of the 9 of 10 doctors that agree that Tylenol is the most effective pain medicine. No, in reality, I am one of the thousands of dipshits that thought it would be a fantastic idea to buy a condo in Southern California in [...]
I was just thinking that I was going to make up some lame excuse about how I was not writing a post today when really it was because I could not think of anything to write about. Writers never get enough credit for the things that they do. Actors and actresses get all of the [...]
I walked out of my apartment today and I was greeted with the normal cavalcade of hobos doing their various hobo things when I looked in a vacant store window and saw this: Wet Willies: coming soon. Fuck. Me. This “bar” is in the same building as my apartment and although it is not directly [...]
The other day I was talking with someone and they were complaining about a random annoyance in their life. It was one of the trivial things that everyone complains about that really are not that big a deal. I don’t even remember what it was but at the end of her rant I told her [...]
I am finally getting a camera-phone (I know, welcome to 2006, Mr. Ultraparadoxical). The corporate blackberry I had been using did not have that capability but I am getting a new one by next week. Besides the obvious bonus of being able to send pictures of my genitalia to my friends and loved ones it [...]
I came into work today and one of my co-workers dropped a bomb on me. He said he fucked my Mother. Just kidding! – that did actually (maybe) happen to Lebron James right before game 4 of the Eastern Conference Semi-finals. Allegedly Delonte West, one of Lebron’s teammates, has been “driving the lane” on Lebron’s [...]
I have been living in downtown San Diego for about 2 months now and it has been everything I thought it would be and more. I have seen more interesting things is the short time I have lived in my new place than the 4 years I had lived at my old pad in a [...]