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Musings

Randomness III

“Dude, the Olive Garden has the BEST fettuccine alfredo.  Its amazing.” Olive Garden I heard this on the street while walking back to my apartment last night.  I almost stopped in my tracks to see who could have uttered such a thing.  I cannot tell you the depths of my hatred for Olive Garden, I [...]

Hell, Television Advertising and Chantix

So I was watching a program about hell and all of the horrible myths and legends that go along with the underworld (I don’t know why I watch these things but I guess my morbid curiosity wins out sometimes).  The BS that writers and mystics of the past thought up to scare people into submission [...]

KS and her “Oral” Dissertation

[Another day, another new contributor to Ultraparadoxical!  In the short time I have known her we have had some very interesting conversations, this post is a follow-up to one of them.  As usual my comments in black and her post is in red.  Welcome KS and all her orally suspicious glory!] A recent discussion with [...]

Milk/Sub-Prime Mortgage was a BAAAAD idea

I am a statistic… and  I’m not referring to myself as one of the 9 of 10 doctors that agree that Tylenol is the most effective pain medicine.  No, in reality, I am one of the thousands of dipshits that thought it would be a fantastic idea to buy a condo in Southern California in [...]

Why the fuck were you late?

I was just thinking that I was going to make up some lame excuse about how I was not writing a post today when really it was because I could not think of anything to write about.  Writers never get enough credit for the things that they do.  Actors and actresses get all of the [...]

My hobos are getting Wet Willie’d!

I walked out of my apartment today and I was greeted with the normal cavalcade of hobos doing their various hobo things when I looked in a vacant store window and saw this: Wet Willies: coming soon.  Fuck. Me.  This “bar” is in the same building as my apartment and although it is not directly [...]

… And thats why the terrorists hate us.

The other day I was talking with someone and they were complaining about a random annoyance in their life.  It was one of the trivial things that everyone complains about that really are not that big a deal.  I don’t even remember what it was but at the end of her rant I told her [...]

You can call me Ansel Adams…

I am finally getting a camera-phone (I know, welcome to 2006, Mr. Ultraparadoxical).  The corporate blackberry I had been using did not have that capability but I am getting a new one by next week.  Besides the obvious bonus of being able to send pictures of my genitalia to my friends and loved ones it [...]

Successful Operation of the Rumormill

I came into work today and one of my co-workers dropped a bomb on me.  He said he fucked my Mother. Just kidding! – that did actually (maybe) happen to Lebron James right before game 4 of the Eastern Conference Semi-finals.  Allegedly Delonte West, one of Lebron’s teammates, has been “driving the lane” on Lebron’s [...]

Sights and sounds of the town that is down

I have been living in downtown San Diego for about 2 months now and it has been everything I thought it would be and more.  I have seen more interesting things is the short time I have lived in my new place than the 4 years I had lived at my old pad in a [...]