Randomness V
Politics
Politicians should have to wear stickers or buttons denoting their largest campaign contributors. I would prefer to have lobbying completely abolished, but I am not naive enough to think that would ever happen. Having a politician covered in logos as if he were a NASCAR driver would at least help people cut through the bullshit far more easily. When a senator is at a press conference talking about how we need to ease environmental regulations and he has a big Exxon logo on his chest it makes things a bit clearer for the average voter to see where that politician’s allegiances lie.
Media
I watched a football game live (4:30AM Sydney time) and it was the first time I had really seen American commercials in a long time. After not seeing advertisements in so long I noticed that every other commercial was either about 1 – How wives are annoying shrews to be lied to and avoided at all times 2 – Husbands are lecherous scumbags who could care less about their wives, are assholes to their friends and secretly hate their children. 3 – Children are either ultra-cute, bastions of love and grace or prickly little consumerist bastards depending on the product being sold. Every single commercial that is constantly being rammed down everyon’e throats is in direct opposition to the family values that America prides itself on.
It really speaks to the dualism of American life that has really been made evident to me since I have moved here. There is a huge gulf in America between what is said and what is really meant that is much less so in Australia. The announced and inferred messages of media, politicians, and sports are much more homogeneous in Australia. Companies, politicians and athletes will say one thing and intend another in the US and the public seems to be able to process both realities even if they are in opposition. People priding themselves on strong family values on one hand and identifying with the scumbag husbands and jaded mothers is really more unique to American culture than I ever thought.
Gays
I was invited to play basketball with a friend from work who happens to be gay. I have had a friend in town from New York for most of the past few weeks and haven’t been able to play for a while so I took him up on the offer. He called to tell me he was downstairs and as I was leaving my apartment I mentioned to my friend that I hoped this wasn’t an overtly gay basketball game then went downstairs and hopped into his car… which was a red Miata convertible pumping techno music. In my opinion the only gayer vehicle is a gay pride float. At this point I had a second thought or two about playing in his tournament. That second thought turned into a 3rd and 4th thought when I arrived in the parking lot to see a few trannies milling about the entrance.
I shrugged it off and went in and met the guys we were playing with, who were all really nice. We played and it was fine, they were not very talented but it was good to run around for a bit. It was pretty much just like any other pick-up game I have played except for one thing. We were playing half-court and on the other side of the gym there was wrestling competition set up. **Sidenote** I was telling one of my friends about this and I was explaining to her that they were playing the “gayest possible sport: on the other end of the gym. I had her guess to what I was referring. Her guesses: Badminton (huh? More Asian than gay), gymnastics (good guess), and “that floor routine where they twirl around that ribbon” (I stand corrected, that may be the gayest sport) **End Sidenote**
Something about it was just really creepy to me, it was some tall white dude and a little Pilipino guy rolling around in pastel uni-tards. It definitely made me feel awkward but thinking back there really isn’t much difference between 2 gays wrestling in a gym and a guy grinding up against a chick in a club. After playing a few games I was definitely recruited to join a gay basketball team for which I politely declined. I don’t think I would ever play with those guys again, not because I am a homophobe but more for the fact that it is false advertising. I am not gay and I am sure that these dudes go to this to meet other hookups. It is understandable though, if I you told me that I could go wrestle or play basketball with some cute chicks in bikinis I would definitely be down. Besides the crappy car selection, the gays really have their shit together.
Racism
As I have said before, Australians are racist. It is not a aggressive type of racism but a more curious almost endearing from of racism that I have never really seen before. I was at the bar last weekend for the New Zealand vs. Australia rugby game and someone shouted “pass it to the coconut” referring to a member of the team who was from Fiji. Harmless, stupid racism. Many of the funniest conversations I have had with Australians have started out with “I don’t want to sound racist buuuuuuttttt….” then they go on to say something incredibly racist, not hateful, just racist. Almost like a child saying something they didn’t know was really offensive. This one guy started talking to me about NFL football and asked if the white and black players were actually friends and if they fought all the time. How do you even answer a question like that?
Sounds like a backwards place you are living in…I was waiting for the part about how everyone wears hats on their feet and hamburgers eat people. I would love to have witnessed the gay pickup *double entendre* basketball game you were involved in. I picture it like when homer took bart to the gay steel mill
Did he ever pass the ball to the Coconut? I am sitting on your cliffhanger here.
Glad to see that this one didn’t give Derowski an erection. That was getting a bit excessive.