The best/worst souljob of my entire life…
I have come to terms with the fact that I am in a soul sucking line of work. I get a pretty good (read: bad) souljob pretty much 5 days a week. Whether it be coddling managers and telling them what they want to hear or kissing the ass of some douchebag customer, it is pretty much nonstop. Sales is a totally worthless profession and anyone that tells you otherwise is a sociopath or deluding themselves. Does it really matter if someone buys doodad “A” or doodad “B”? Probably not, and my entire job description is just that, networking with people that I pretend to care about and influencing them to do the things that will eventually make me money (kill me now).
I don’t have many different options though. I have gone down this road for the last 10 years and any type of career change now and I will take a massive pay cut. That is the thing about sales, fundamentally it requires very little “skill”, yet pays extremely well considering the workload. I am stuck and it is a bit depressing. On the other hand, I feel like I am having another “this is why the terrorists hate us” moment because I AM making good money right now, not doing too much and due to this job they just moved me to Sydney. Basically, I know I am not going to change anything but a guy can dream can’t he? I have been thinking about some career change opportunities and the pro’s and con’s of each.
Entrepenuer
This has some allure because I would love to not have any managers lording over me or micromanaging what I do. It is all me. Out there. Just myself to rely on. Alone. Wait, fuck that. I definitely don’t trust myself enough to work my ass off for something even if it is my own welfare. I am such a slacker sometimes and lose focus pretty easily, so maybe not having “the Man” nipping at my heels would cause my laziness to skyrocket to porch-monkey status.
Marketing
It is not sales, that’s for sure. Marketing is somehow worse though. It has all the aggravations of a sales job except none of the perks. It is impossible to tell if a marketing person is doing a good job or a shitty job and therein lies the problem. It is like art class in 5th grade, the work is useless but as long as the teacher/boss likes you, then you will get a good grade. Marketing efforts are totally subjective. There is no way that I could handle that simply because I cannot kiss ass. No matter how hard I try, I have the urge to be a prick to anyone that tries to exert control over me.
Hobo
Not having to worry about a job – GOOD. Sleeping on a cardboard box – BAD. Checking myself out of the materialistic cycle of crap I don’t really need – GOOD. Sucking dick for meth money – BAD. Hmmm – the juries still out on this one.
Boytoy
Sweet baby Jesus I would love to have myself a sugar momma. Hanging out at the pool all day catching up on some reading and working on my tan sounds fantastic. What doesn’t sound fantastic is fucking some blue-haired socialite with skin resembling my childhood baseball mitt.
Farmer
I have lived in a large city for all of my adult life. In theory the idea of going out to the country and fending for myself sounds like a pretty great idea. Growing my own vegetables and living off the land is something that humans were actually meant to do rather than toiling away in front of a 21in LCD screen. In reality though I would be absolutely clueless. Seeds go into the ground, right? How do chickens turn into breaded breast fillets… do they just come out of the eggs like that? So many questions so little time. I would most likely spend my time getting drunk and mailing cow shit to unsuspecting friends until I was broken and alone on the floor of my one room shack cradling a shotgun that I have no idea how to fire. Man, I am a pussy.
Writer
Anytime that I sit in front of a blank word document it kind of freaks me out. I have a hard enough time coming up with enough dick jokes and other forms of assholery to even make a weekly post here. For me to write a short story or really commit myself to writing something substantiative is frightening to me. In reality that is the crux of it: the reason that I continue to toil in the sales “salt mine” is fear of failure. I really don’t care about sales and if I succeed or fail makes no difference to me at a personal level. If I sincerely tried something that I was more personally invested in and failed I would be crushed. Sales is a job but in reality it is a shelter from failing at something that I really care about.
I constantly have thoughts about throwing caution to the wind and trying to do something that I care about but for a variety of reasons, I never do. The paycheck is the first thing that comes to mind but more than that I feel like if I took a chance to do something I may find out that I really don’t care about that line of work either. Maybe I am just set to hate whatever I am doing because I “have” to do it. In that case, wouldn’t I be better off just sticking with something that I hate that pays, instead of working my ass off and being poor?Either I will or I won’t, I guess is depends on how much of my soul is left after working at a corporation for 10 years.
Geez, talk about depressing… on that note – have a fantastic Friday!
I am in the exact same boat right now except I’ve been doing Customer Service for 10 years which makes me want to stab a pencil in both ears.
I might steal this idea for my blog, because I too continue to do this shit because I get paid ok, have insurance, get vacation time, even though the day to day has me drinking every night.
OY!
There is a wonderful documentary entitled “Funny Farm” about a man who looks a lot like that guy from Fletch. Anyway he moves to the country AND becomes a writer. Obviously what you really want to do is be a writer and you happen to be really good at it so I think you have your answer. If it doesn’t work out can always go back to sucking corporate dick like the rest of us. Word to your mother.
@KC – Dropping some wisdom Vanilla Ice-style – since you say it that way… then I have to take it to heart!
[...] much as I am always complaining about my job and the soulsucking activities contained therein I am in no hurry to leave the company where I am working because the prison of my job allows me the [...]