Things to know when traveling in Tokyo
I’m back.
After spending 13 hours in the Portland airport I finally arrived back from my trip to Japan. Honestly, it is not as culturally crazy as many people would lead you to believe. Don’t get me wrong, if you want to find craziness and fringe culture it is definitely there in abundance (just like every other major city) but at its core it is a city of pretty normal, friendly people. The friend who I was traveling with was there for work so I basically wandered around the city by myself for about 8 hours a day then came back and had dinner and drinks/watched her throw up from food poisoning after she got back from work each night… good times. Anyways, there are several things that I noticed that I never had heard about in all of my pre-trip research:
Ice Cubes
Fuck me, the ice cubes in Japan are glorious, I’m not bullshitting. In my mind, these little chunks of frozen goodness should be their chief export. When I ordered my first Jameson and Ginger ale it came with 8 of the most solid, crystal clear, perfect cubes of ice that I have had in my entire life. When I order the same drink in San Diego I get milky centered chunks of frozen refuse. I could go on and on about this but me being so impressed by this little stupid detail is another “Reason why the Terrorists hate us”.
Where there is a chair, there is a sleeper
It never failed, wherever there was public seating there would be at least one person passed out there. I’m not talking about a hobo sleeping on a park bench, as far as I can tell, Japan is a hobo-less society. Every single place there could be an Asian guy or gal sleeping, there was. Chair at a museum – BAM – passed out Japanese MILF. Massage chair display at the mall – BAM – well dressed Chinese businessman catching some Z’s. I even saw some chick at the booth of a coffee shop “resting her eyes”, come one people, coffee shops are for waking up not crashing. I don’t get it but I like it. I think between the ice cubes straight from Boreas’s loins to the public napping I could get very used to living in Tokyo.
Trash cans…
… or rather the lack of ANY public trash cans whatsoever was shocking. I do not know how it is not the filthiest city on the planet because there are 0 public trashcans. Seriously, I think I saw “a” garbage can the entire time I was there, it was like spotting a unicorn. I learned very quickly after the first day to finish whatever I was drinking and throw it away before I left the restaurant unless I wanted to be carrying my cup the entire rest of the day. There are trash cans EVERYWHERE in San Diego and people still throw garbage on the ground – I can’t even imagine what it would look like if people had to keep their trash on them until they got back home. The streets around my apartment would look like an episode of “Hoarders”.
Jobs
If Tokyo lacks garbage cans there is one thing that is has is spades: employment. Anywhere you go there is someone doing a pointless job. The standard uniformed idiot standing on the sidewalk doing nothing – CHECK. The cosmetics counter at the mall FILLED with employees looking for shit to do – CHECK. 3 people manning the revolving door at the hotel – CHECK. I think they just do it to lower their unemployment rate but it seems like a bit of overkill. I’m sure their office buildings are filled with 2 people to a desk, one to work the mouse, another to work the keyboard.
Baseball
I went to a Yakult Swallows vs. Tokyo Giants game while I was in town and it was definitely worth the trip. It was something I am very familiar with but presented in a slightly different way. It was like a minor league game except the fans were REALLY into it and for some reason when there was an especially good play everyone busted out umbrellas. My friend who I was there with was in the throes of vomiting in the bathroom from food poisoning when something magical happened:
…the only white player on either team had “Your Love” by “The Outfield” as his song before he came to bat. When my friend came back to the seats she questioned if she had been hallucinating when she had heard that song. Nope. That HAS to be a joke, right? It got us talking about what we would have as our song if we played in the Japanese baseball league. Her choice “99 Luftballoons” in German and mine was “Dancing too Close” by “NEXT”. I think any song about a dance boner would definitely intimidate the opposing team.
All in all, Tokyo is a fanatic city and I didn’t even mention the amazing sushi, the flawless transportation system or the beautiful museums and parks (or the chicks dressed up like Little Bo-Peep). Go there. Immediately. You won’t be disappointed.
I would actually attend a baseball game here in Chicago if each player had a “song” he came out to, like “professional” wrestlers do.
I think that all teams not named the cubs have “walk up songs” for each player every time they bat. It was always entertaining when Dmitri Young played for the Tigers…he had some pretty ghetto jams. One of my favorites was “lean back” by fatjoe.
Walk up song sabotage? Yep.
http://www.boston.com/sports/blogs/thebuzz/2010/09/diamondbacks_pl.html
@KS – Awesome. That is all.
The Cubs for the first time this past summer now have walk up music. They should have gotten with the show years ago. Baseball is boring enough so this is a nesscessity. I have had the “what would your walkup song be” conversation probably about a 100 times now. Its “Cowboys from Hell” by Pantera. Yes, I am that intense. Good Blog.
@Nelson – Never knew you were that hardcore… I would have pictured you as more of a “Maneater” walk-up song type guy.
My walkup song is “me so horny”