The Rise of T-Dub
I have already blogged about how Tiger could have avoided all of his troubles by adhering to a few simple rules. It is too late for Tiger though, he has already shit his bed and now he has to wallow in it… or does he? It looks pretty bad for him – his wife isn’t wearing her wedding ring, his sponsors are dropping him faster than Sammi Sweetheart dropped “The Situation” and each day it looks like a new skank is coming forward to say that Tiger took her out for a round on her “back nine”. It is an absolute media feeding frenzy that is probably slowly destroying his sanity – he is scrambling to save his sponsors, his career and his marriage. My advice, Mr. Woods, is to let it all go – let it burn to the ground – and rise again out of the ashes of your former life as a new man to be know simply as… “T-Dub”.
Becoming T-Dub is not only a good option – it may be the only option. If Tiger decides to try to win Elin back he is in for a heap of aggravation. This next 1-2 years will be a constant stream of apologies and tucking his tail between his legs trying to get things back to the way they were. She will outwardly hate him for a minimum of 5 years (and passive aggressively hate him forever) – after that he will be on one of the shortest leashes in the history of short leashes. Everyone will have an eye on Tiger and if there is a hint of trouble he will be back under the microscope. Then, if he decides to take another trip into whoreville and gets busted he is totally hosed – forgiving a guy once is understandable but twice for the same offense and people would be even more merciless than they are now. This was obviously not an isolated incident – he either doesn’t want to be with his wife or he just needs other women in his life. Instead of fighting the temptation embrace it. If you lose some sponsors in the process that’s OK – you have more money than god anyways.
I envision Tiger’s new personae as the ringleader of a Rat Pack for the 2010’s. He can be the new face of the night life in Vegas instead of the poster boy for how NOT to cheat on your wife. Goodbye dockers and sensible polo’s – hello trendy jeans and a bad attitude. Imagine if Tiger assembled a crew of other power bachelors that cruised around Vegas and other party spots like Sinatra and his posse did back in the day… tell me you would not be interested to hear about their latest adventures. A sampling of Tiger’s potential crew and each person’s role: MJ (Aging Manther), Clooney (Hollywood Hookup), Chapelle (New York Connection) and Jon Daly (Wildcard). T-Dub could take a few weekends a year to wreck other golfers on the PGA tour and keep up his rep as a dominant athlete then cruise down to South Beach and blow it out on Diddy’s yacht – then wash the stripper’s glitter off of and spend a week with his kids at home – everyone is a winner.
As for his sponsors – T-Dub need not worry. Cadillac, Accenture and Gilette can all be replaced with more T-Dub friendly brands like Axe Body Spray, Bacardi and Trojan. Problem solved. Who cares if you make a fraction of the endorsement cash – at least you won’t have to spend the rest of your existence with your head hung low searching for absolution from your sins that you won’t receive from either the public nor your wife. Seeing such a dominant sports figure be such a pussy is depressing – and it doesn’t (and didn’t) have to be like this.
This is really what Tiger SHOULD have done in the first place and probably the reason for his dalliances. Elin was probably his first REAL relationship in his life and he got sucked into it like everyone does. Tiger’s timing was just off – for everyone else that bubblegum romance happens in High School or College when marriage is not even an option for most sane people – however, Tiger was too busy being the best golfer in the world to enjoy single life like he should have. Tiger had his “teenage” romance in his late 20’s and decided to pull the trigger on marriage which is a bad idea if you still want to fuck any blond with a pulse. I would be miserable too if I married my girlfriend from college and I probably would have if that had been an option for me.
Alas this will never happen and Tiger will go through the near future not golfing, being hated by all women for cheating and getting his ass handed to him by his wife on a daily basis to try to rebuild his shattered relationship. It doesn’t have to be this way though…
What do you think?
[...] line is that Tiger did not heed any of my suggestions. Shame on you Tiger. You are taking the hard road and trying to atone for the transgressions. [...]