A Concert Story
There is nothing I like better than going to check out some bands play. Some people prefer tailgating, going out dancing or sitting at home on the couch watching Three’s Company reruns on a Tuesday afternoon to get their “drink on” but, for me, concerts are the best all around drinking pastimes. The people watching at these events is superb, depending on the style of music the concert goers can range from hipster douche bags to people who look like they would be more at home in a meth lab or a greyhound bus stop. There are so many options for entertainment. You can bang around in front of the stage, listen from afar and chill out or get away from everything and have a drink on the concourse or a cigarette outside. Everyone is always in a good mood and by the end of the night there are plenty of drunk people doing drunk people things that you can enjoy on the walk out.
I went to a show this weekend and this is my story (actual names withheld to protect the innocent):
I was picked up from my house around 6 and we headed to pick up one more person before we went over to pregame at someone else’s house. The friend that we picked up had to stop off at the weed store to pick up some drugs first (whhaaaa?) Yes, in California there are stores that sell weed – I have always heard about this but I have never actually been to a dispensary and seen how easy it was. People go in – look at the selection, take a few sniffs and with a doctors note it is all “legal”. The same thing that people all over the US and even in California are in jail for is something that you can walk into a herbal store in San Diego and no one will hassle you. This is incredibly cool and incredibly stupid all at the same time – can we just not legalize this shit already – what is the big deal?
Anyways, after that we met up with friends to hang out and pre-drink before the concert. They lived in one of those apartment complexes that has the layout of a Guantanamo prison. There was about 15 different buildings in no discernible order and even people who lived there did not seem to have a clear idea of how to navigate the maze of walkways and parking lots. I half expected David Bowie to pop out “Labyrinth-style” and start making me solve some riddles. He didn’t though and we finally got to the house and started getting wasted. *sidenote* While we were drinking and hanging out I heard snippets from an episode of “Friends” that was on in the background. What an abortion of a show – cliche joke after cliche joke and all the characters are such whiny losers. I never liked “Friends” but it was excruciating watching it now. It has aged horribly and I can’t believe those actors are multimillionaires based on that bullshit – it infuriates me. Worst popular sitcom ever – I would rather watch “Dharma and Greg” while someone was kicking me in the nuts than a minute of “Friends” *end sidenote*
We hung out there for about an hour then we hopped in this chick’s car and hit the road for a ride that should have lasted no more than a few minutes. If I was forced to choose a adjective for my ride to the concert it would be: “TERRIFYING”. The concert was at RIMAC arena which is on the campus of UCSD and is fairly difficult to navigate even when you are clear-eyed. In this case we were all wasted and in the car we had what my friend had picked up from the “drug store” and a few flasks we were going to sneak in – it was an open and shut case for any cop that wanted to pull us over. We got lost and drove around campus as haphazardly as Tiger Woods after a few Ambien – at one point we passed a parked cop THREE times at the same intersection. In any normal situation I think we would have gotten pulled over but later on it dawned on me why we were not. UCSD’s student population is 90% Asian – I am sure that these cops are numb to seeing bone-headed drivers and people that should have no business being on the road. Next time I want to curse someone who is DWA I am going to think back to this and bite my tongue.
We finally parked and headed into the concert. Spoon, Phoenix and Vampire Weekend were playing. We expected Vampire Weekend, then Spoon, then Phoenix as the headliner but we walked in and Phoenix was on… I was so bummed. This was definitely the case of a concert schedule being set before people realized that Phoenix blew up. Luckily we only missed a song or 2 and they were amazing, and blew the other bands away. We stayed until Spoon wrapped up and then we took off – this time our driver was sober.
Apparently she was not sober enough to get not get wrapped up in the Siren’s song of Denny’s and we convinced her to stop there before we came back to my place. Denny’s and other restaurants of its ilk are a curious mix of meth-heads, stoners, drunks and degenerates. Add that to the vaguely filthy decor and a wait staff that is precipitously close to a suicide, murder suicide or mass-murder suicide and you have a fantastic family drunk eatery! The table next to us was so blown out that I don’t think they said one word to each other their entire meal. I destroyed my Lumberjack Slam and we headed back to my house for some Green Tea Ginger Ale and Jameson (my new favorite drink – lets call it a “Ginger Ninja”). After hanging out for a bit the Charlie Brown Christmas CD happened to come up on my Itunes play-list and we listened to the entire disc and even kind of jammed out to it at one point. I have changed my sobriety calibration to drunk – then wasted – then shitfaced – and the final level of “Charlie Brown Christmas Wasted”. Please adhere to these levels from now on. I passed out after my friends left at about 3AM thus putting a bookend on the night and another fantastic concert trip.
Do you have any good concert stories?
Next time you can find someone else to drive your drunk ass!!
You have no idea how much I was freaking out when I was in the passenger’s seat, but you are right – we made it there safe and sound – nice job. I definitely couldn’t have driven!
I’m sure that alcohol and being in the front seat intensifies the fear of being in a prius. But a couple observations would have helped ease your nerves. If one had looked in that cop car sitting in the parking lot, they would have notice that it was vacant. And seeming how it was a huge parking lot and we still couldn’t see a cop wondering around, we were pretty safe. Plus, the items we were carrying are legal, we just were carrying them in an illegal manner. But that could have been corrected very easily, by tossing everything into the trunk (which was accessible through the back seat.)
“The fear of being in a Prius” – now that’s funny. Apparently I am a paranoid freak – next time I am blown out and losing my shit I am going to come to you and you can chill me out!
Oh don’t worry lil pip, you aren’t a paranoid freak but yeah you need to get schooled in how to be a zen passenger. I’ll teach you some breathing exercises that can help turn a death-defying car trip into a fun romp around on mr toad’s wild ride. (A sneak peak into the lesson… it includes inhaling and exhaling something more than just air)
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