So… after ranting about our society at the precipice of a giant metaphorical toilet bowl I have been conspicuously absent from my own website. Have I been busy/lazy/tired/bored/apathetic and the thought of writing on ultraparadoxical.com been a bit daunting of late? Yes – but I am back and reinvigorated… kind of… maybe… a little bit. Anyways, I’m back and that’s all that matters, right? I beg your forgiveness for being lazy and I will apologize with my favorite get-out-of-jail-free lines… “My bad?” “My bad” is perfect because I get to take blame for something, never actually apologize and make light of the situation, all with 2 short words. Works for me… moving on…
One of the reasons that I took my impromptu sabbatical from the blog was I went on vacation to Vail, Colorado. I was initially skeptical about how much fun I would have because (1) – Last time I was in Denver I came down with a wicked altitude related sickness that concluded with me puking at about 10,000 feet in the middle of my decent down the ski slope. (2) – I hate the cold. After I landed I realized that (1) – I must have been a pussy when I was 13 because the altitude did not bother me at all and (2) – I only hate the cold when I need to wake up in freezing temperatures, scrape my windshield and go to work. If it is cold and I get to do whatever I want to do the mornings are not THAT miserable when it is freezing outside. read more »
“Success” in America has less to do with actual talent than any time in recent history. We have forsaken competence, responsibility and intelligence in our country and replaced those attributes with shallow illusions of each. It has been all around me lately in my workplace, in popular entertainment, and watching the government in action. It aggravates me at times but mostly I just join in with a sense of apathy and embarrassment. Incompetence and stupidity are part of every day life and in some aspects is accepted and embraced as a positive thing. I cannot speak for much of the past as I have only experienced the last 30 years personally but it seems to me like talent, perseverance and commitment used to be things that guided Americans. Now attitudes seem to be different. read more »
I recently posed this questions to one of my coworkers: If you were married would you rather have your husband go to a sales conference or a guys weekend in Vegas? Her answer: unequivocally – guys weekend in Vegas. People are absolutely shameless at our company events. I just had my annual work conference (which is the reason that I have not posted in a while) and it did not fail to deliver. All kinds of shit (literally) went down – even accounting for the fact that 50% of the rumors are probably lies still leaves that other 50% which is true. Let me tell you… corporate America is not as up tight as you would think. read more »
I read “Man and His Symbols” by Karl Jung a while back and his thoughts have had a lasting impact on me and the way I view the machinations of my mind and the impact of the unconscious side of myself. The subconscious is a critical aspect of the mind to analyze in order to fully understand human motives, feelings and ideas that bubble up into the conscious mind as coherent thoughts. Humans are the only creatures that have a split and clearly defined conscious and subconscious. *sidenote* I think the way that animals think and operate in daily life is similar to how humans operate in a dreamlike state. They flit along having a sense of the world around them “knowing” and “feeling” on a superficial level but not having a clearly delineated duality of thought capable of being finite yet thinking infinitely. As animals have physically evolved the same has happened in the mental sphere and the biggest evolutionary leap was achieved when humans were able to have a clearly defined conscious and subconscious. *End sidenote* This is both the source of human intelligence as well as the root of many problems which stem from integrating both aspects of ourselves. read more »
I love road trips. They are all about doing many of the things that I love – bullshitting with friends, listening to music and napping. I have been on many in my lifetime, some with family others with friends and even a few animals mixed in. Each one has its own feel and there is always at least one memorable thing that happens. In addition to that there are opportunities to see new places and meet new people… then make fun of them. Ahhhhh the possibilities are endless with road trips – they are an affirmation that there are a ton of freaks all over the US and that I am glad that I live where I do. If I was not employed at the salt mine I would love to take a few months and bounce around the US with some friends and see things in the remote corners of the country that usually remain hidden (and in some cases should remain hidden). Almost every state I have visited or driven through has a memory - lets take a ride down road trip memory lane state by state. read more »
I am sick, and contrary to “Disturbed” I am NOT down with the sickness. It is not fun, it always depresses me and right now I feel absolutely worthless. Whenever someone says that they are sick and whines about it I never really have that much sympathy – I usually just wait for the complaining to stop and move to another topic as quickly as possible. However, when I am sick I suddenly become sympathetic to everyone’s plight and I vow to be more considerate to others when they are not feeling well. Then the sniffles go away and take that feeling with it – putting me right back to square one. Whenever I get sick I always think of 2 things: read more »
New Years resolutions are total bullshit. Nothing ever really comes of them 90% of the time. Usually, they are weak attempts to reform some perceived shortcoming in a person’s life and usually fail miserably. I have never made a resolution for myself and don’t intend to start now. However, there are some people that should use this time of year to change a thing or two moving into next year. I was thinking of some resolutions that certain people should take for their own good. read more »
I went to a holiday party on Saturday at one my friend’s house and hung out for a few hours. While we were having a few cocktails I noticed that there was a bottle of Triple Sec on the counter. I didn’t think anything of it until someone mentioned that someone had brought that over. WTF? Who brings fucking Triple Sec to a party? Is that not the oddest alcoholic beverage to bring to a party? I thought I was going a bit off the reservation by bringing champagne but Triple Sec??? That would be like going to a pot-luck and bringing a few cloves of garlic. I was completely taken aback by this – can you think of a weirder bottle to bring? We were all laughing about this and then some guy came in with a bottle of Saki – granted this is not as retarded as Triple Sec, but again, who brings Saki to a party? Needless to say I created another drink (2 weekends in a row that I have created a drink – I guess I am a bartender savant) called the Secsy Saki which was surprisingly tasty. read more »
Throughout my dating existence I have been in many different types of relationships and each one has its own quirks and eccentricities. Everyone is different and when those people pair up it creates unique circumstances and scenarios for the people involved making every relationship its own special entity. Amongst these differences though there are similarities that an outsider can see working in all of these different pairings. I have observed these similarities in my own and my friend’s relationships and most of the time I see someone’s actions and a song starts playing in my head – these are the relationships and their appropriate lyrics. So here we go…
I have already blogged about how Tiger could have avoided all of his troubles by adhering to a few simple rules. It is too late for Tiger though, he has already shit his bed and now he has to wallow in it… or does he? It looks pretty bad for him – his wife isn’t wearing her wedding ring, his sponsors are dropping him faster than Sammi Sweetheart dropped “The Situation” and each day it looks like a new skank is coming forward to say that Tiger took her out for a round on her “back nine”. It is an absolute media feeding frenzy that is probably slowly destroying his sanity – he is scrambling to save his sponsors, his career and his marriage. My advice, Mr. Woods, is to let it all go – let it burn to the ground – and rise again out of the ashes of your former life as a new man to be know simply as… “T-Dub”. read more »
So… after ranting about our society at the precipice of a giant metaphorical toilet bowl I have been conspicuously absent from my own website. Have I been busy/lazy/tired/bored/apathetic and the thought of writing on ultraparadoxical.com been a bit daunting of late? Yes – but I am back and reinvigorated… kind of… maybe… a little bit. Anyways, I’m back and that’s all that matters, right? I beg your forgiveness for being lazy and I will apologize with my favorite get-out-of-jail-free lines… “My bad?” “My bad” is perfect because I get to take blame for something, never actually apologize and make light of the situation, all with 2 short words. Works for me… moving on…
